By Mady Frischer
“Anyway here’s Wonderwall…”
Yes, the classic words that start every Havdalah. Is it not the tradition before launching into a chorus of ya li li’s to sing an enthusiastic round of Mr. Brightside? Yet, that’s what we did to end our first Shabbat together on the Nachshon Project.
We all came to Nachshon with our own shabbat traditions, and we all ended up praying in our own minaynim split by denomination and comfort level. It felt disjointed. So, when it came to Havdalah it was really the first time we’d prayed together as a full cohort.
There’s something remarkable about how we all know the “Havdalah” song. There are the vastly different variations of yi li, yi di, or yi ni, but the tune is almost universal. Take a random group of Jewish teenagers and start singing those first notes of Debbie’s Havdalah niggun and they will catch on as fast as if you started in with the opening line of Mr. Brightside. So, for a group of 41 North American college students it’s as common as the pop songs we’ve been belting for years.
It was recently brought to my attention that this niggun was written by Debbie Friedman, which honestly floored me. When I was 12, Debbie Friedman returned to my camp (the camp she used to work for), OSRUI, for her last concert there before she passed away. Growing up at a conservative synagogue, I didn’t sing the same songs all the Reform kids at my camp knew. When I asked “Who’s Debbie Friedman?” my counselor’s jaws dropped and they swiftly began a spirited education. I walked away from that concert a huge fan to say the least.
The only name listed next to related to searches for Debbie Friedman is Shlomo Carlebach. This woman has had a massive impact on the entire North American community enough to make her listed alongside a man that began a movement. As a reform Jew she created a melody that was sung in my conservative synagogue, one that was sung by both my orthodox and secular Nachshon peers. Yet, so many people responded with “who is that?” when I excitedly shared my new Debbie discovery. Just as they said “who’s that” when talking about Oasis after singing Wonderwall.
To me, now more than ever, Havdalah is exemplary of true pluralism. It was a beautiful time where we all prayed together for the first time. We all knew how it went and we swayed together. Regardless of the labels we put on our Judaism, regardless of our backgrounds we could all raise our voices high and sing “Coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just…” sorry. That’s not right. I mean, the melody of Havdallah.
